Alohaby Thomas Macklin on 05/22/10
Pssst! Hey, you. The one with the Hawaiian shirt on. Will you cut it out? You're embarrassing the rest of us guys.
Have you totally given up on fashion? I mean, stop it already. You're just one step away from wearing black socks with your Bermuda shorts.
The Hawaiian shirt is to men what the "Moo-moo" is to women.
(P.S. to the women out there - How can you wear something that is named after the sound that a cow makes? Shouldn't that be a clue of some kind?)
Back to the guys - Are you just having a tough time matching your clothes? Do we need to get you some Garanimals for "mama's big boy?"
I know. You're thinking. "Hey, it's easy. Hawaiian shirts go great with everything."
Has there ever been a Playboy centerfold that listed Hawaiian shirts as their number one turn on?
How do you think Nick Nolte's doing in the babe department these days? Remember Nick's famous mug shot? The one where he's wearing a...you got it...a Hawaiian shirt?
So, tomorrow morning when you start to put on your Don Ho gear, take a second to think it over. Today could be the day that you meet the babe of your dreams. It's the chance for your clothes to say either:
"Hi, there. I a caring, warm person that takes the time to dress in a manner that is befitting a woman of your "babe-ness."
"Hi, there. I own the complete first four seasons of "Magnum P.I."