PX666by Thomas Macklin on 03/31/10
I just wanted to lose fifteen pounds.
I should have kept that desire to myself. My mistake was mentioning it to one of my students.
Trying to be helpful to their ever-widening sage, they suggested a workout video that we will call - for legal reasons - PX666. In hindsight, the student should have waited until the end of the semester - after I had entered their final grade. I've been lowering it with every attempted workout session.
The folks at PX666 have promised me six-pack abs at the end of 90 days. My problem is that I'm starting out with a keg. I'll be happy if I get it down to a couple of liters.
Before you start the program, the instruction booklet has you take a little test to see if you're fit enough for the workout. Technically, I passed. I should be walking again by Monday.
Then, they have you take a before photo to compare with an after photo that you will take after 90 days. I have a call in to my hospital to see if flash-photography is allowed in the intensive care unit.
You also take several measurements - waist, chest, legs, etc. I think they may be fitting me for a coffin. By the way, is my waist measurement supposed to be larger than my chest measurement?
And how do they get the workout pals on the videos to smile all of the time? I haven't smiled once. Am I missing the DVD that covers the smile muscles?
And can I make one small suggestion for the next planned video? The breaks between the exercises need to be a little bit longer. I'm having trouble getting to the refrigerator and back in the time allotted.