What's That Clicking Sound?by Thomas Macklin on 04/02/10
It wasn't until Art Blakey's group had finished playing Moanin' that I noticed the clicking sound. Looking down at the car's dashboard, I saw my left turn-signal's green light flashing. How long had it been on? One mile? Two? Since I left my driveway?
And it wasn't the first time this week that it had happened. Just the day before yesterday I noticed it flashing while stopped at an intersection - only I had no intention of turning.
At some point, I have turned into the stereotypical Florida Blue Hair Driver. The same people that I have cursed since moving to the "In Search of Regularity" state back in 1982.
My main worry at this point is that I vaguely remember making my daughter promise to shoot me if my senility ever reached this point. Now, every time she reaches into her purse to get something, I find myself diving in back of the couch for cover - just in case she's bought a small caliber gun with her allowance money.
I should have recognized the beginning signs of my current state much earlier. The clues were all there:
The to-do list that included ear-wax removal.
My brother and I watching reruns of "The Golden Girls" and arguing over which one is the hottest.
My "bucket-list" being watered down from riding the rapids of the Colorado River to hoping to sit through a movie at the theater without having to use the restroom.
Watching the infomercials on "The Scooter Store" with genuine interest.
I could go on but I've lost track of my daughter.
I apologize in advance to all of you with the misfortune of following a silver Hyundai Accent with its never-ending turn signal. I have joined the masses of Adult-Underwear World - not a bad name for a theme park where the 45-minute cue lines are for the bathrooms, not the thrill rides.