Riding The Riff
I thought it had ended after high school.
The sweaty palms, the dry mouth, the foot-shuffling from side to side. All a preamble to getting up the nerve to talk to a girl - any girl. Never getting up the hope for more than a quick conversation.
In college it got a little easier, or maybe you just got used to the ratio of failures to successes. Somehow you survived, managed to get a couple of dates, and miraculously, you ended up married.
Now, twenty years later, your students tell you about something called Facebook.
"It's on the internet. You have to join it. It's the in thing to do. Come on Mr. Macklin, step into the 21st century."
So, one day, a couple of these students walk you through the process. We get me signed up. We come up with a password that even I won't forget, fill out a profile - most of it true - and then they tell me that I need to get some friends.
"What do you mean, get some friends?"
So it starts all over. Flashback to lunch-break 1975 - yes, I'm that old - and I'm trying to just say hello to Libby Singer. Not because she's so hot looking. It's just that her locker happens to be right next to mine (Sorry, Libby. Nothing personal. I did think that you were cute, but proximity was the real reason that I spoke to you that day.)
So the deal on Facebook is, you send someone else on Facebook a request to be your friend. There's room to leave a message, too. Ample room for pleading, begging, and promises never to bother them again.
The request is sent to them and - now get this - they can either confirm your friendship or ignore you. That's right - they can just ignore you. Deja vu all over again.
Libby, don't expect a request from me. I don't think this old man can handle it again.
With my students help, I have managed some "new friends." To tell you the truth, I haven't had the heart to turn any requests down. I've been on the other side of that too many times.
Actually, I have to be honest. I did turn down one friend request. But that was because, judging by her profile picture, she looked like she was going to charge by the hour to be my newest buddy.
Sorry lady, nothing personal.